i hope everyone likes me
- Jesus: Love thy neighbor as thyself.
- People: What if they’re gay?
- Jesus: Did I fucking stutter?
If you could go anywhere in the world right now would it be to a “where” or to a “who”?
Definitely to a who.
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
"Thank you for calling itty bitty titty committee, this is Kitty, how can I help you with your itty bitty titties?"